Tips For My Razorbacks Playing Auburn This Weekend

Back in my day, a long time ago far, far away, Coach Broyles and “The Man” Wilson Matthews taught us how to get in our opponents head. Now we never played Auburn, but here are a few suggestions:

  • Have an offensive lineman ask the man lined up on his nose right before the snap, “If your mascot is the Tiger, why are all your fans crying, “War Eagle?” A few plays later and forty yards down the field he may try to answer.
  • Malzahn is famous for calling plays by flashing big cards with images on them. Ask the quarterback while he is under center:

1.  Why are your cards in 3D?

2. Is that Beyoncé’ or Tina Turner?

3. I think the card holder is holding the card upside down don’t you?

and when its a crucial play say:

4. Damn, where’d your coach get that naked picture of your girlfriend?

  • Malzahn is famous for trying to speed up play at times, while at the same time getting his own players to fake injuries if the momentum is going against him. Here are a few suggestions:

1. After you tackle the opponent don’t be so quick to let go. Those new helmets make it hard to hear the whistle.

2. After an incomplete pass pick the ball up and walk it back to the Referee. Don’t ever throw it back, insist on being polite and handing it to him.

3. Have your nose guard “accidently” spit or “lose it” on the ball right before the snap.

and if all else fails:

4.  Holler, “illegal substitution, illegal substitution.” Auburn will start looking around for the offender, so will the coaches, and they will probably call a time out on their own.

There are many more ways to get inside the head of one’s opponent, but I don’t want to give away too many secrets until we play Alabama. Razorbacks, remember the four rules of the kicking game, keep your poise during adversity, and remember always you play the game for a reason. Winners play, losers read their clippings. Go Hogs beat Auburn.








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